Hi! After a long hiatus, I, Heather Mi (aka Sunny), am finally back blogging about my misadventures, struggles, profound thoughts, and misplaced humor. Unfortunately, because I had to move from my old blog home to WordPress, I still need to learn how to nagivate my new home, and it’s very much like moving into a new house and walking around the moving boxes at midnight with a flashlight!
One of the best new things I did this summer i signing up on Facebook and MySpace to connect with family and friends, and to reconnect with even older family and friends. Of course, most of my connections are alive and kicking on Facebook, so that’s where I tend to hang out. I’m enjoying the heck out of it, and can’t believe it took me this long to get on board. I’ve been chatting with friends I haven’t seen in 5, 8 and 20 years!
As some of my friends and family know, I’ve been estranged from my little brother, Cameron Bo Logsdon, for years and have been searching for ways to reconnect with him. I feel that he’s very angry with us – the divorce between our dad and his mom was very bitter; unfortunately, he and I bore the brunt of that bitterness and were helpless to swim against that tide. Dad and I used to call Cam whenever we could when we were younger, but due to a 3 hour difference and our work schedules, it was hard to connect with each other “live” so we would leave loving messages and asked him to call us back collect. I don’t think he ever did, or if his mom would let him.
I saw that Cam has an account with MySpace, but I don’t know if it’s active. I’m trying to get my courage up to connect with him via MySpace because I feel like I could die a big death if he rejects me. I do miss him and Dad misses him, too; Dad wonders about him all the time and regrets not knowing his only son. He fears it’s too late and that Cam hates him too much to want to get to know him now. Dad’s 62 next month, so there’s not that wide window of opportunity for these two to reconnect, and I very much would like to have that happen sooner rather than later.
We really do want Cam to be a big and important part of our lives again. So, I sit every night, in front of the computer and wondering if I am strong enough should my little brother reject us, and every night I hesitate. I know I’m a strong person, and I’ve been known to take on bullies and jackasses in a fistfight in a New York minute, but when it comes to my brother, I don’t feel very brave because I very much rather have that potential (and hope) for success as opposed to a final denial. So I leave up my account on MySpace and hope against all odds that Cam wants to reconnect with us, and reach out first, because truly, we will welcome him back into our lives in a heartbeat. If only I could have a hint…
Moving on. Another thing I’ve been doing is taking up my photography again. I miss doing this, and am also giving my little digital camera a good workout. I really ought to take a Photoshop class to maximize the options it offers. I’m also inspired enough to save money to buy a Nikon or Canon digital SLR and really get into the hobby, maybe even do some professional side jobs, like creating calendars, etc. I’ve spotted the exact camera I want, so fingers crossed I can purchase this as my Yule present to myself.
Yet another thing is to get another laptop. My poor laptop is almost 8 years old; some of the keys are beginning to stick and the 13″ screen is really small. I really want to get a satellite laptop with all the bells and whistles, at least 17″ screen (just saw a guy with a 22″ screen, how cool!), etc. I really don’t care if it’s a Windows XP (no Vista please!) or a Mac, but truthfully, since I have an XP, I probably ought to get an XP laptop so it can communicate with each other. I do enjoy toting my laptop to coffee shops with free Wi-Fi and drink tea while expounding my profound journal thoughts.
Last thought for tonight: I have kissed a lot of frogs and toads in my life, but haven’t found my significant other. Is it me, or is it getting harder to even find dates these days? I suspect the economy has a lot to do with it, naturally. I don’t like going to bars and clubs anyway because 9 out of 10 times, they get pretty noisy, and with my limited hearing, it gets hard to carry a conversation. So, to widen my pool these days, I have signed up on several dating sites. I have had some interested hits, but I’m feeling insecure at the moment, LOL…this is so not me to feel so insecure. I guess I’m just tired of kissing toads, frogs and salamanders. Surely there’s some wolves, bears, and lions (oh my!) I can snuggle up with that are out there. From one furry spirit to another furry spirit, where in the hell are you?
Okay, I think I’m going to sign off at the moment and watch my True Blood re-runs. I’m sad that the Season Finale is next week, but shall endure until the next season (hurry the production up, man!). Off to pop popcorn!
Hugs,
Heather aka Sunny
P.S. I love you, little brother!
No comments:
Post a Comment