Christmas came and went in its usual manner – five or six days of familial films, pine needles in the socks and the exchange of gifts squirreled into the house under jumpers, in plastic bags and camouflaged by elaborate cloaking devices. One of those gifts given to me was a huge surprise: An iPhone 3G S. This, I was informed, was a combined birthday (which was in May), graduation (which was in November) and Christmas present. While it led to my having to abandon the excellent Meteor network after four and a half years of service, it nevertheless excited me beyond belief. The element of surprise was only one reason for this excitement.
See, I have that same envious side to me that inhabits the minds of children who holiday in the country but who see their friends jetting off to exotic climes. I have that jealousy which twentysomethings with Toyotas feel towards fatcats in Ferraris. I bear that grudge which exists between Bebo and Facebook, MSN and Skype, TV3 News and RTÉ News, Steve and Alec Baldwin, Pluto and the other planets, Bert and the other Sesame Streeters. Yes, it’s true: I have the PC-user’s heartfelt desire to be an Apple.
Apple are just the coolest of cool. They look sleek and sexy, bright and shiny, with pretty ways of operating, fancy futuristic programmes and they are the computers of Douglas Adams and Stephen Fry for whom my admiration is detailed elsewhere. They are the anti-clunk of Microsoft and PCs, with their constant need for Ctrl-Alt-Deletes and restarts. They are the sports car of computers, the Lambourgini to PC’s Volvo. They have been see-through and glistening white, they were flatter, thinner, quicker than any previous computer we’d seen. And they have a cool logo!
The only thing stopping me from converting to Apple was the fact I was brought up with PCs and, having reached the level of proficiency on Windows at which I am currently, I didn’t have the patience or time to make the change while in college with essays to do. But now I have finished my college education, I’m questioning my computer-sexuality. And the gateway to that conversion came in the form of my new iPhone. It’s touch-screen. You can drag the Apps about. It makes future-into-whooshing noises when you send messages. It IS the future.
Having been brought up with Star Wars as a central cultural reference point in my life, before moving on to the anything-goes future-vista of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, the sci-fi world has always fascinated me. Not in the Trekkie-anorak way, not in the pedantically-correcting-someone-when-they-give-the-wrong-circumference-of-the-Death-Star way, not in the World-Of-Warcraft-is-my-life way. But I loved programmes like “Tomorrow’s World” – yep, flying cars and TV glasses, all that stuff was eye-candy to my pre-teen eyes.
I grew up during the advent of mobile phones. I’ve watched them shrink from bricks to Lego. I remember when Nokias only had the BIG point on their chargers. I’ve made that coming-of-age journey from Nokia 3210 to iPhone. When I opened that present on Christmas Day, it was like I leapt into hyperspace. And when I discovered the Bump application (where you simply bump two iPhones together to send files) I was giddy with glee. This is surely how Luke Skywalker would send photos to Han Solo. Of course, he might not spend as much time updating his Twitter as I do…
@bazmcstay tweets: Just written a blog post. Lol.
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